Self-Care For New Parents
This post was written by Jenna Sherman, creator of parent-leaders.com. Jenna, a mom of three (two girls and a boy) hopes to help other parents acquire the skills they need to raise future leaders by providing a collection of valuable, up-to-date, authoritative resources. www.parent-leaders.com is an avenue for parents who want to make sure their children grow up to be strong, independent, & successful adults.
Jenna’s insight in this article fits the core values of Lotus & Avenue, and we are proud to showcase her writing! After Jenna shares her tips, at the bottom of this article are some of my thoughts added as well.
Image courtesy of Pexels
New parents face many changes and challenges. Between the feedings, diaper changes, and other new responsibilities, new parents often find themselves sleep-deprived and overwhelmed. Although there’s no one magic answer to making this new part of life easy, there are things you can do to make it more manageable.
Keep Nutrition in Mind
While you’re focusing on making sure your child is well-nourished, consider nutrients for yourself, too. When you’re fatigued, it’s tempting to treat yourself to sweets or fried chips, but with a bit of planning ahead, you can have rewarding snacks that boost your energy and contribute to your physical and mental well-being. Consider some of these healthy, one-handed snacks you can try, while holding your infant with the other arm. The snacks can be prepared ahead of time and refrigerated or frozen, so they’re handy when you need them. Most nuts, seeds, and fresh, frozen, or dried fruits are good choices. Drinking more water (at least two liters a day), rather than caffeinated or sugary drinks, can also boost your energy levels.
Exercise
While you may no longer have time to go to the gym, you can still add a bit of exercise to your day. Taking your baby for a walk is exercise, and some strollers are designed to be pushed by joggers. Whether walking or jogging, moving is key. If your home or workplace has more than one floor, consider taking the stairs to get in a bit more movement. If your child loves to be held, you can get some movement in your home or neighborhood, while carrying the extra weight for more of a workout. Exercise can relieve stress, improve quality of sleep, and help to relieve postpartum depression, so find something that works for you. An exercise class specifically for new moms might be just the ticket.
Level Up Your Home Environment
Although new parents typically lack the energy for major modifications, there are small things you can do to make your home a less stressful environment. Open the blinds and make sure you’re getting plenty of natural light. Prevention Magazine suggests hanging a mirror across from the window to bring in even more of the outdoors. Address clutter by creating a specific place for every object in your home. Placing two containers by the entrance can keep things organized–one for outgoing items, and one for incoming. If you don’t already have indoor plants, consider adding a few. The presence of even one indoor plant can boost productivity, increase the ability to focus, help with recovery from illness, and in a general way, reduce stress.
Stay Connected to Friends
With all the responsibilities that come with a new baby, it’s easy to let go of activities that seem less essential for survival. Everyone has to eat and sleep, and exercise is critical, but is having friends really that important? Yes, as a matter of fact, it is. Loneliness is sometimes a byproduct of the transition to parenthood, and loneliness can contribute to stress and depression. Spending time with friends, particularly mom-friends, can give your mental health and well-being a boost. If your friends are not currently parents, you may need to add some new friends. You can start with something simple, like chatting with other parents in the park.
Go Outdoors
The mental health benefits of being outdoors are well established. Just 20 minutes a day in nature can boost your mood, reduce stress levels, and help to combat depression. While it may seem like too much to add one more activity, you can combine your outdoor time with other activities, such as exercise, running errands, or meeting with a friend.
Summary
Becoming a parent is a major life transition, and with it comes many challenges. Although this time may not be easy, it can be one of the most rewarding parts of life. While you’re focused on taking care of your child, make sure that you’re also taking care of yourself. Your child will be more likely to thrive if you, the parent, are eating well, exercising, and meeting your other needs, so self-care is a family-wide win.
Additional insight from Aujha at Lotus & Avenue to further assist you:
I just have some extra thoughts on each tip from Jenna above that I thought might be of use for those who are either about to venture into parenthood, or are a friend that just wants to support new parents.
Keeping Nutrition in Mind
As a mom, I can think back to when my first was born. Nutrition was a huge desire since I was striving to breastfeed, and it was definitely a struggle. I’m currently expecting my second baby and if there’s anything that I know will help with the newborn stage, it will be nutritious snacks and/or meals. Visitors tend to bring things, but I found it was a lot of stuff I wouldn’t normally eat. If you’re planning to visit new parents in your life, ask them if the meal or snack you have in mind is something they would actually enjoy; there’s no point in spending time or money bringing something what won’t get eaten (or may be eaten for the sake of eating, but won’t be enjoyed). Bringing pasta may seem helpful but what if the new mom recently wanted to cut back on gluten? It doesn’t hurt to ask, whether you’re the new parent, or you’re the visiting friend/family member.
Exercise
When you’re exhausted, exercise may seem like the last thing you want to do. However; keep in mind that exercising actually gives you better quality sleep (even if it may be broken by night feeds), and releases endorphins to elevate your mood and improve motivation. Check out some Facebook groups in your areas for other new parents and exercising to help motivate you. For example, there’s a mom stroller bootcamp in my area! There’s also a gym 20 minutes away that has free child-minding for children aged 3mo-5 years; so, I can go to the gym with my three month old and three year old, have someone look after them for an hour, and use their facilities. It’s worth looking into in your area if your concerned about how you’d manage it all.
If you’re a friend or family member of a New Parent and want to offer support, consider either looking into these potential gyms for your new parent (takes some mental load away), or offer a particular day to watch their children for two hours so they can practice this one element of self-care.
Side note: as the mom who would love the two hour time frame to get to the gym, it’s really hard to consistently ask for that (guilt for asking, thoughts like “did they really mean the offer or were they just being nice,” etc.). So, if you’re the friend who is willing and able to watch the kids, please offer it more than once and be specific about dates and times so your New Parent knows you’re serious and can accept the offer guilt-free.
There’s also the third option: asking each other (New Parent or supportive friend/family member) to go for walks, a public swim, public skate, join an activity group, do mom and baby yoga together on YouTube, and so much more. The ideas are endless!
Level-Up Your Environment
Jenna’s suggestion of plants are fabulous. Snake plants are my favourite because they are known to improve air quality, amongst many other benefits. If you’re visiting your New Parent, consider brining them a snake plant (this is my main suggestion, only because they’re hard to kill). Another great environment-enhancer is a salt lamp, with tons of anecdotal claims online. I, personally, have two in my home and I love them.
Another way to enhance your surroundings is to establish a cleaning schedule for you to stay on top of things and constantly feel that sense of accomplishment we all strive to embody. If you’re looking to support the New Parent in your life, consider getting them a gift card for cleaning services as well!
Stay Connected With Friends
As a mom, this one is hard. Maternity leave makes this a little easier to achieve since you don’t have to juggle childcare and a work schedule yet, but if you’re the only one on maternity leave, who do you turn to? As I mentioned above, consider joining some Facebook groups in your area with other parents to make some much needed connections. Connecting with other people is necessary for survival, like Jenna said.
If you’re the support friend/family member of the New Parent, try not to take the New Parent’s absence personally: a New Parent’s role is vital to the survival of the infant and is one of the most time consuming things to exist. If you reach out and text and don’t hear a response, try again the next day. Chances are, your New Parent opened your message, had a mental appreciation thought about it, even thought up a response, and then simultaneously had a baby vomit all over them, start screaming, or have a major poop explosion—all of which are the ultimate distractions from your kind text. The New Parent is—quite honestly—trying to survive and juggle it all, so try again and even offer to go over and lend a hand.
Go Outdoors
This one is tough for me. I’m about to have another newborn in the dead of winter, but I also have a toddler that needs to get out and about. I’m planning on starting small in terms of being outdoors, with hopes of being able to increase my time outside gradually. Take the pressure off yourself! Do one small thing that’s more than what you would normally do: park as far as you can from the grocery store entrance so it takes you longer to walk outside. The smaller you start, the more motivated you will feel to increase your mental capacity. Another thing to help you incorporate outside time is to set your intentions the night before: tomorrow, I will wake up, feed and change the baby, get dressed and go for a walk for 20 minutes, and when I get back maybe I can have a quick shower before the next feeding, if not, I’ll feed after. Etc. This template can help you plan your days, which will help you hold yourself accountable. Leave room for flexibility and forgiveness to relieve the pressure you put on yourself.
Summary
We truly hope you found these tips encouraging and motivating as you navigate through parenthood. Please do not hesitate to reach out if you have any questions, as Jenna and I wish you the very best in your parenting endeavors and will continue to share more resources and helpful tips on both our platforms.
